If this is the first post on my blog that you have read, yes, I am a Houston wedding photographer and you have come to the right place. I have beautiful wedding photography from weddings that I have photographed that you can see in other blog posts. I also am saddened by the number of marriages that I have seen that don’t work out including some of the weddings that I have had the honor of being the wedding photographer for. With that said, I posted on my Facebook Fan page and asked a question –
Think back to when you got married and offer some advice to couples that are getting married now. What would you tell them that you wish someone had told you?
As you can see below, the answers all had a common theme – Communication! I cannot stress enough how important it is for couples to talk. I know what you’re saying, “But we do talk”, and while you may discuss some things (the wedding, the colors of the wedding, the food at the reception, etc.), you have to work on real, deep, meaningful, intimate communication and that means not only talking, but listening without judging.
If you have dated any length of time, you’ve had a fight or two. Conflict is not the end of a relationship but should be the beginning of making the relationship stronger. Just because you disagree, it doesn’t mean he hates you, it just means you disagree. Read below some of the responses form my fans:
#1 – Hear each other out….and always talk about it.
#2 – Never try to talk out a problem when anger has your emotions; Keep God as the center of your marriage…not friends and family; Try to pay for your wedding and honeymoon in cash so you two won’t start off your marriage in wedding debt; Keep in the back of your head 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[a] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!
#3 – Always keep arguments inside the house. Don’t go around telling everybody your business. Always support them in whatever they do. Don’t yell when arguing and keep the fight fair. (I had a big problem with that one!)
#4 – Make sure that you’re together as a person before being a husband or wife. Make sure you’re happy with yourself and not depending on the other person to make you happy. Having a relationship with God is very important, that way when challenges arise in your marriage you’ll go to Him first and not your family and friends. Lastly, love and respect yourself that way you’re leading by example on how your mate is to love and respect you.
#5 – COMMUNICATION IS EVERYTHING!!! Never go to bed angry at each other. Keep your marriage to yourselves. The whole world does not need to know every little detail. Do not give up yourself because you get married. Always keep your “me” time. LISTEN to each other and really hear what they are saying. Never blow them off because you don’t want to hear it. NEVER put someone before your spouse, either
#6 – No matter what else you have together, without trust, none of those things will matter, so always keep it real. Communication is extremely important but it doesn’t always have to be right then & there…have patience for the right time…&… don’t take yourselves too seriously…keep a sense of humor, make each other laugh, like best friends do… have fun together :)). Oh & Nathan…we all know that men & women don’t see things the same way, nor do we communicate in the same way…but with patience & determination…it can be worked out 😛
#7 – I wish someone had truly explained the term “People change”. Yes! As we grow/mature, we are suppose to change, but the changes are not always positive. The funny thing is, I mean ME! There are some things about me that I thought would never change and I’m realizing that they have. For example, I love children and they are my passion, HOWEVER, I don’t want any living with me nor do I wish to raise anymore after my son goes off to college in 2 yrs. My husband, on the other hand, has two children, prior to our marriage, that he wishes to move in with us. Need I say more…..lol…I’ve been mothering for almost 30 yrs. and ready to hang up the apron and live MY life for once. So, are you/will you be a step-parent? MAP IT OUT A-Z and don’t skip anything. It’s the little things you don’t think about that become major problems/divisions in a marriage later on in life.
These responses are from people that have been where you are going, so please listen carefully to what they say and bring success to your marriage so that as you look back on those beautiful wedding pictures, you do so with joy and not regret.
I would love to know what you think, so leave a comment and share your thoughts. You can click the Contact link above to send me a message or inquire about available rates and dates. I’d love to hear from you!!
Wonderful article, Nate. This is something that will help me in my current relationship. It also helps to understand why my first marriage broke down and ended.
PS I shared this on Twitter, too!
This article is AWESOME!!! It’s refreshing to know that there are some mature people who still believe in love and marriage. Keep up the good work and I’m sharing this with everyone I know!